“身體語(yǔ)言”這一類(lèi)詞兒我們?cè)缇吐?tīng)得耳朵長(zhǎng)繭了，然而，你真的知道別人對(duì)你源源不斷，孜孜不倦地散發(fā)的那些氣場(chǎng)到底暗示著什么嗎？

    Interactions can be wrought with mixed signals- saying one thing and non-verbally communicating another. No wonder so many singles report confusion regarding what their date was really thinking or feeling. On the surface， understanding this language can seem very difficult， if not impossible. Not so， if you learn to speak the non-verbal language of process.

    交流這種事情其實(shí)最糾結(jié)了，總是有人嘴上說(shuō)著一套，心里想著一套。怪不得很多單身人士都抱怨說(shuō)不知道約會(huì)對(duì)象到底在想什么。不過(guò)其實(shí)只要摸清了一些非語(yǔ)言表達(dá)方式的含義，那么看清對(duì)方的心思也沒(méi)那么難。

    The following tips will be presented using examples of naturally （and commonly） reported dating scenarios experienced by singles.

    我們搜集了眾多單身人士的約會(huì)資料，情景再現(xiàn)般地教給大家怎樣破譯約會(huì)的謎題。

    1. Eye contact

    四目相對(duì)型

    When you are sitting and talking with your date， do you notice how they look at you， when you or they are speaking？ When their eye contact is good， this is a sign that they feel comfortable and interested in you. They are really involved in the interaction and want to be there. It also communicates honesty and sincerity. Conversely， when your date has difficulty making eye contact， this communicates discomfort； lack of interest or it could be extreme shyness. The last would be easy to know if they are a shy person in general.

    當(dāng)你們并肩而坐侃侃而談之時(shí)，你有沒(méi)有注意過(guò)他/她的眼睛？如果對(duì)方兩眼一直關(guān)懷著你，那么他/她必然是對(duì)你有好感，表示他/她很享受交流的過(guò)程，同時(shí)你還能看到對(duì)方內(nèi)心深處的坦誠(chéng)與真摯。反之，如果他/她就是不愿抬眼跟你對(duì)望，那么對(duì)方要么就是對(duì)你沒(méi)有好感、提不起興趣，要么就是害羞。是不是害羞一般而言比較容易看出來(lái)。

    2. Restlessness

    坐立不安型

    Have you ever experienced the restless date？ You know the one. He moves around in his chair， she looks at her watch， and his mind seems somewhere else. He may or may not offer an explanation. What appears to be going on is that her mind IS somewhere else. This behavior communicates a lack of interest or a preoccupation with someone or somewhere else.

    跟這種人約會(huì)過(guò)嗎？男的坐立不安，神情恍惚；女的一會(huì)看表，一會(huì)提包。這種情況都不需要解釋?zhuān)瑑煞N可能，一是他/她對(duì)你沒(méi)有興趣，再者就是他/她心里有事兒，身在曹營(yíng)心在漢。

    3. Looking around at others a lot and not at you

    左顧右盼型

    Have you ever had the unpleasant experience of being out with someone who watches the crowd the whole time？ Perhaps， they just glance furtively （and frequently） around the room？ This， of course， signals lack of interest， possible discomfort and a desire to avoid interaction with you. It can also be a general sign of someone who is not trustworthy， or at the very least， hasn't been completely honest/ candid with you.

    想想看你好不容易約上一個(gè)他/她出來(lái)，對(duì)方卻一直關(guān)注著周?chē)鷣?lái)來(lái)往往的人群，沒(méi)人可看時(shí)就從天花板到地磚縫上下前后得瞄。你說(shuō)悲哀不悲哀。這顯示了對(duì)方對(duì)你不感興趣，可能是覺(jué)著跟你在一起不舒服，或者干脆就是躲避跟你談話。反過(guò)來(lái)，你怎么看他/她？那就是，不值得信任，至少不是那種實(shí)實(shí)誠(chéng)誠(chéng)的敞亮人兒。

    4. Is noticeably quiet

    難開(kāi)尊口型

    Oh， how deafening is silence. It can speak volumes. If your date has little to say to you what does this mean？ Maybe they are just not very interested in you. Perhaps they don't think you would care to hear what they have to say. Maybe they think you wouldn't appreciate hearing what they are really thinking. Perhaps they are in an off or sour mood. Only you can interpret this. Be careful not to quickly write it off to something you want it to be， as opposed to what it really is.

    沉默，只是沉默，此時(shí)無(wú)聲勝有聲。相顧無(wú)言其實(shí)能說(shuō)明很多事。如果你的約會(huì)對(duì)象跟你玩沉默，這能反映什么問(wèn)題？可能是他/她對(duì)你沒(méi)興趣，或者是她認(rèn)為你不太愿意聽(tīng)她的娓娓道來(lái)，再就是他怕自己滔滔不絕的一大堆到你這里會(huì)沒(méi)有反應(yīng)，又或者他/她是情緒不佳呢。局勢(shì)復(fù)雜，只有當(dāng)事者能看清。所以，別對(duì)沉默草率地下結(jié)論，因?yàn)槟愫芸赡芫涂村e(cuò)了。

    5. Stiffening or closed-in body posture

    身體僵硬型

    You know what YOU do in uncomfortable situations. You fold your arms tightly across your chest. You stiffen your spine. You tightly cross your legs. You turn your body at an angle away from the person you are facing. You lean away from the person you are with.

    在一個(gè)不自在的場(chǎng)合下，相信你也有類(lèi)似的舉動(dòng)：脊梁骨發(fā)僵，雙臂交叉放在胸前，雙腿并攏腳下吃勁，面對(duì)面時(shí)打偏座避免直面對(duì)方，并排坐時(shí)會(huì)下意識(shí)地把身體往反方向躲……等等。

    Of course， the reverse is true when the interaction feels good. You lean forward. Your arms are relaxed or laying open to the person. You face the other person directly. Your posture is relaxed and at ease.

    反之如果環(huán)境和交流讓你感到輕松，上面這些舉動(dòng)就全部會(huì)倒過(guò)來(lái)。你會(huì)肘臂前傾，身體放松，面向?qū)Ψ襟w態(tài)舒展，整個(gè)人處于自然輕松的狀態(tài)。

    It's fairly easy to interpret the closed-in posture. The other person feels uncomfortable They aren't open to the interaction with you. They would rather not be there.

    防御性的姿態(tài)很好分辨，如果對(duì)方跟你一起感到不快，他自然不會(huì)放松舒展，事實(shí)上，他們巴不得立刻逃離你身邊。

    6. Physical Contact

    摸摸碰碰型

    Perhaps the easiest communication to read correctly is that of touch. If your date avoids taking your hand or putting his arm around you he may be uncomfortable or unsure. He may also be shy， but you would already know that.

    諸多交往手段中，可能最不容易誤解的就是身體接觸了。簡(jiǎn)單一例，如果你約會(huì)的男朋友回避跟你牽手或者不愿意摟你，那么他要么是對(duì)你不感冒，要么是對(duì)你倆的關(guān)系不確定。當(dāng)然，他仍然可能是因?yàn)楹π�，不過(guò)真如此的話你也早該心里有數(shù)了。

    If someone you have been dating for a while begins to exhibit changes in their level of eye contact， body posture， attention to you， availability and/or becomes restless or less communicative， pay attention. Their feelings have shifted. Be careful not to be too quick to explain it away. More than one occurrence should set off your silent alarm. Make sure that what they say matches what they don't say.

    如果你察覺(jué)到你的那個(gè)他/她有所變化，比如在眼神交流、體態(tài)動(dòng)作、對(duì)你的關(guān)注、陪你的時(shí)間、耐性或者是溝通技巧方面出現(xiàn)異常，那就要注意了，他們對(duì)你的好感可能有轉(zhuǎn)變。不要著急對(duì)一種異常下結(jié)論，如果以上現(xiàn)象出現(xiàn)兩個(gè)以上，那你可要注意防范他/她變心走人了。所以，觀察的要點(diǎn)是言行一致，表里如一，雙管齊下，雙重考量。