題目：Some people believe the fittest and strongest individual and team achieve the great success in the sports. Others believe success depends on their mental attitudes. Discuss on both sides. What is your opinion?
　　Sports, no matter what their scales are, are the combination of intelligent and psychological factors and physical power of team members. To pursue success in sports, these factors are all indispensable and interactive.
　　(Comments: 1.(Don’t repeat your mistakes!))
　　Some people may argue that the only determinant for winning a sport is the physical strength of the team members. Namely, the stronger the individuals are, the higher possibilities the team will succeed in a competition event. We have to admit that the majority of sports require team members to have fit and powerful bodies. However, we should also notice that competition with other teams is not fighting with them. It is hard to image that a group of strongest apes win a game against a team of higher intelligent creatures.
　　( Comments: 2.(Pay close heed to the fact that you should use the noun form to function as the subject !) (Object clause is a good choice, and the non-predicate structure is also acceptable, yet never confuse them!))
　　Intelligent and psychological factors, therefore, play another part of important role in sports. Provided that a team is equipped with the strongest team members, it is still less likely for them to succeed in one game if its members are pessimistic and lack of strategies in competing with other teams. One famous case which can illustrate the importance of mental attitude and intelligent factors is that the Chinese football team’s successful entrance in the World Cup. The motto of that team’s coach is that attitude determinates everything. With the guidance of their coach, Chinese football players finally won the entrance competition with the support of positive attitude and appropriate strategies.
　　(Comments: 3. (Excellent! Very good application of exemplification!)
　　(The original slogan of the Chinese football team is “Attitude is everything!”) What you used here may seem a little Chinglish.)
　　Intelligent and mental power and the physical strength of team members are mutually influencing one another. The advantage of physical condition may probably add confidence to team members and inspire their best psychological state. On the other hand, the optimistic and positive attitudes are most likely to stimulate the best potential of individuals and bring them encouragement and ultimately lead to success. It can therefore be arguably concluded that mental attitude and physical condition are both significant in pursuing a team’s victory.
　　Very excellent as a whole!
　　Just keep up the good work and do the same in IELTS exam!
　　Pay close attention to details!
　　Grades: 7

　　題目：Nowadays, the young people are leaving school and unable to find a job. What are the individual and social reasons for this phenomenon? What measures can be taken to solve this problem?
　　Unemployment seems to be a popular word in young people's life
　　currently. Young people from colleges and universities would like to describe their situations in an interesting, but yet realisticreal, way:
　　Graduation is equal to unemployment.
　　Broadly speaking, two aspects of reasons may contribute to this problem.
　　As With a the macro environment of employment young people living inin a slump, the society is argued as the primary cause of this problem. Influencing factors stemming from the society are the higher recruitment requirements of organizations and their distrust on of young people' ability, both technically and morally. Along with the economic development, more corporations need employees with high standard of practical skills and advanced knowledge s toward one particular area. Moreover, mastery of interpersonal skills is also required by the majority of companies today. However, young people seem to be lack of these requirements. On the other hand, some organizations are likely to put impose their distrust on young people due to their unfavorable ability and inadequate business ethics recognition. As a result of the arguments above, young people are likely to suffer from unemployment after leaving school.
　　Apart from social reasons, young people themselves should be responsible for this problem. They should admit that the majority of them are ambitious. However, the ambitious but unrealistic young people may bring serious problems to their employer. They may solve problems on the basis of their dreams, which is unacceptable by most organizations since they do not want to take risks and pay for young students' mistakes. Also, the majority of young people are lack of practical skills. They may write excellent research papers but probobaly maybe unable to figure out one problem in real work situation. (Exemiplifying may add luster to your writing, which will absolutely strengthen your persuasiveness.)For example, ……
　　Thus it can be alleged that the unemployment problem roots in the society and young students, who, however, do hold the solution in their hands. The society should play a more vital role in solving addressing this problem by establishing organizations to help young people obtain real work skills. Australian government has done a program called Professional Year which does provide a great help to young students to fins find jobs and develop their working skills. However, at the same time, young students should make themselves active to learn how to balance their dream and the reality.
　　Comments:
　　1.Excellent work you’ve done. Your writing is decent as a whole. Yet some details still leave a little to be desired. Namely, vocabulary diversity and sentence structure diversity are supposed to be strengthened, i.e. you should replace some words with their synonyms in order to avoid repetition of the same word.
　　2.idea←reasons←examples
　　Reasons support your idea, and examples uphold the reasons. As a result, your view will will be built on the firm rocks of examples, which will be rather convincing and power overwhelming. Hence, exemplification is fairly a good way to help you to make a good composition.
　　3.Eliminate the minor mistakes!
　　4.Keep up the good work. More practice is indispensable.
　　5.Grades: 6.5